A few Christmases ago, my boyfriend and I visited some of his close family friends and I should have known from this experience alone it would never work out.
It all seemed so normal and pleasant. It was dark outside and the woods outside Seattle were thick and quiet. There was a wet, musty kind of smell spilling off the trees and onto us as we walked towards the over-sized, log-like home hand in hand. We were dreaming about families and the social calls we made were almost like a sort of integration ceremony. This one was special. This family had known Tyler almost his whole life and I just knew they would be wonderful. Then...
A red flag.
A red flag that I didn't notice, but wish I'd picked up on sooner.
As we walked into the house, there was a wonderful smell of something cooking, family and friends everywhere snacking and talking and laughing, and a cute little girl with blonde pigtails and a pink dress who seemed to be playing contentedly alone. Sort of intimidated by the family and intrigued by the girl, I walked over and started to play with her. But something was wrong.
"No, Caroline. Go in there!" The little girl picked up her doll and threw it forcibly into a clear plastic box. "You're stuck in there. Without air. Forever." Her curly pigtails bounced and she looked at me with a smile.
"What's your name?" I asked.
"Amy." She turned away with her lip curled up just a bit, grabbed the box again very gently, and then, with the strength of a Norse god, started shaking it.
I turned to my boyfriend to see if he thought it was as weird as I did, but he just laughed. "Isn't she cute?"
Cute.
When I turned back to Amy, she'd since thrown the doll and its plastic prison on the ground letting Caroline tumble out into oblivion and moved on with her life. Amy had started playing with her imaginary friends. There were two. Carlos and ... Caroline.
"Someday Caroline and I will get married and Carlos will be sad." Her slightly homophobic parents just laughed and said she didn't understand marriage. I can't help but wonder if she knew more about it than they gave her credit for. When I turned back, Amy had a surprised look on her face, her lips making a perfect "O."
"Uh-oh!" She said shrugging her shoulders like a perfect OshKosh commercial. "Carlos is dead." :)
As Amy skipped away, her parents tried to explain to me how that was normal and that Carlos had already died 5 times that day, but don't worry, he always comes back.
I left that night in a daze, holding Tyler for support. He thought she was cute. We did not get married.
P.S. On the subject of red flags...
A red flag.
A red flag that I didn't notice, but wish I'd picked up on sooner.
As we walked into the house, there was a wonderful smell of something cooking, family and friends everywhere snacking and talking and laughing, and a cute little girl with blonde pigtails and a pink dress who seemed to be playing contentedly alone. Sort of intimidated by the family and intrigued by the girl, I walked over and started to play with her. But something was wrong.
"No, Caroline. Go in there!" The little girl picked up her doll and threw it forcibly into a clear plastic box. "You're stuck in there. Without air. Forever." Her curly pigtails bounced and she looked at me with a smile.
"What's your name?" I asked.
"Amy." She turned away with her lip curled up just a bit, grabbed the box again very gently, and then, with the strength of a Norse god, started shaking it.
I turned to my boyfriend to see if he thought it was as weird as I did, but he just laughed. "Isn't she cute?"
Cute.
When I turned back to Amy, she'd since thrown the doll and its plastic prison on the ground letting Caroline tumble out into oblivion and moved on with her life. Amy had started playing with her imaginary friends. There were two. Carlos and ... Caroline.
"Someday Caroline and I will get married and Carlos will be sad." Her slightly homophobic parents just laughed and said she didn't understand marriage. I can't help but wonder if she knew more about it than they gave her credit for. When I turned back, Amy had a surprised look on her face, her lips making a perfect "O."
"Uh-oh!" She said shrugging her shoulders like a perfect OshKosh commercial. "Carlos is dead." :)
As Amy skipped away, her parents tried to explain to me how that was normal and that Carlos had already died 5 times that day, but don't worry, he always comes back.
I left that night in a daze, holding Tyler for support. He thought she was cute. We did not get married.
P.S. On the subject of red flags...
What a darling little child.
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