Reflections on Age

It is a supreme goal of mine to absolutely never become old without first obtaining and maintaining a convincing, if not tried and true, English accent. Somehow, you can't really be decrepit then. I've been spending a lot of time where you hear people get so old that they start over-pronouncing their "r's" so much they sound like they're not only really close to dying, they're also extremely uneducated. They could be talking about the historiographical morphology of Ovid's Metamorphoses, and you still think to yourself, "Poor old guy. It would suck to lose your mind like that." If, however you happen to have a high English accent at around 87, you're suddenly the Queen. Then, you could tell people that Swiss cheese is the new California State Flower and people would admire your grace and elegance instead of realizing what Swiss cheese has to do with flowers or California and why in the world that could possibly be the Queen of England's business. Yes, it's much better to be a respected idiot than a forgotten scholar.