My Birthdays...

Are like milk.

For the following reasons:

1. They are very very very white.

2. They make some people uncomfortable.

3. There is that fateful day when, without warning, they go from fresh to disgusting and everyone's so intrigued by how appalling it is, they wave it in the air and ask you and everyone else to smell it about a million times.

That day has magically arrived for me. 

I'm not old. I'm not even close. In most places, my life hasn't even started yet. Here at BYU, though, to have gotten to this age and be unmarried is... well, an anomaly. My mom called me today and told me she found a bowl my Grandmother wanted me to have for my wedding and did I just want it now? 

I guess 24 is the age at which Mormondom relinquishes hope of your ever being married. . . or it's a rite of passage.

The first thought I had was obviously a little harsh. "Looks like I'm done here, time to start picking out cats and making them dress up and reenact my favorite scenes from Pride and Prejudice," but no. I feel like a grown-up! I feel like I'm being taken seriously and I even have a real resume. That was maybe the scariest realization of all: my resume could be taken seriously. It has all kinds of things like a foreign language and a graduation date and complete lack of babysitting.

I AM JESSICA: THE ADULT.

I have my own friends and credit cards and keys and I'm here kick life's butt.

Listicle

In my recent writing class, we discussed genre, one of which was something called a "listicle" or an article in list form. I thought the topic was so fun I decided to create my own. Here is my listicle. Enjoy!

A Short List of Things I Lost From ADHD

• About 2-3 books I swear I used to own
• One sweater
• 3 pairs of misplaced pants
• One shoe. WTF?
• Around $58.72 in varied currency... some of which is (was) foreign...
• Friends
• The first 5 minutes of everything I've ever gone to
• Bobby pins and hair ties
• 5 retainers
• Countless homework assignments that were completely finished
• The last half of every thought I've ever. . . 
• Tofu

A Short List of Things I've Gained from ADHD

• About $35.87 most of which was loose change in odd places I was staring at too hard
• Intrigued followers
• One shoe. WTF?
• 20-27 books whose owners now stand forgotten
• Really nasty looking bobby pins and hair ties
• A billion really amazing unfinished projects
• Much time spent daydreaming or eating (usually during the first 5 minutes of something I'm supposed to be at)
• Enemies
• Tofu